my fault.

I haven't written in a long time and that is all my fault. I have issues I need to work out and it's not fair to people how I deal. This entry is about my friends and my feelings. I know most people don't read this blog and I like it that way because then I can really just get things off my chest and that way I feel better.

Anthony:
Don't get me wrong I love this guy. He is the only person I can tolerate to live with. However, I am always the one to do most of the cleaning. In fact when I am done here I plan on cleaning the whole apartment. He complains about me but I clean on my days off and he doesn't. Again, I love this guy. He does silly things with me and we always have fun. Another problem is that he never speaks his mind about his feelings. We are both floor mats. Our friends take advantage of the fact that we are up for most anything. And our kindness gets the best of us. We give each other money and end up being poor. We know this and yet we don't change it. I have no probs with Anthony other than I always feel like I clean more.

Mandy:
This is the one where I rant. I can't stand how needy she is. She is constantly wanting me to tell her she is cute and that I am not mad at her. She stresses me out to no end. I hate how she makes me feel bad about myself. She is constantly trying to tell me she is smarter than me. She says I am the dumb one, that I am the less cute one. She says we look alike but then says she is cuter. If we look alike then how I am I less cute? She made the decision to stick with Robbie and is making everyone else live her pain. I am not the one who married a Pedo! I hate defending her. I hate defending the way I want to be left alone. If you feel like you did something wrong then maybe you did. But that isn't why I didn't call you or text for 2 weeks. I was busy. I have a life out side of you. I can not always be around you. And I don't want to always be around you. Stop and think of someone other than yourself. And yes, you did cheat on your husband, twice in fact. And yes, it was with his friends. Robbie is going to come home and divorce you, because you lied to him. If you love him, how can you sleep with one of his best friends? I like her when she isn't trying to run everything. You can't control the world. And stop "cleaning" our place. Throwing everything in to one room is not cleaning! And most of it isn't mine so why is it in my room? And when you cook here clean up!

Jessie:
I miss her. Sometimes I feel like I fail in comparison, but I am so proud of what she can do and what she is doing. I can't wait for her to come back and to tell me of all she plans on doing. I can tell she will change something.

Dayna:
I miss her. I miss how we were. I am sad she is so far away. But I am happy for her and Tyler.

Heather:
I wish we were as close as we were.

Shilo:
She has gone and burned the bridge. There is no going back now.

There are so many more I could talk about, but I need a break.